


To Build A Home

by black_eyed_angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angst, Comfort/Angst, Demon Dean, Demons, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mark of Cain, Mark of Cain Cure, Mpreg, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-02-27 17:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_eyed_angel/pseuds/black_eyed_angel
Summary: Despite being human again, Dean is far from cured. Depressed, guilty and unpredictable, Dean fears that he has ruined his family with this curse placed upon him, that he will never get better, that he will always bear the mark. But maybe, just maybe, the love of one particular angel is all he ever really needed. And maybe, just maybe, in their fight against the clock to rid Dean of the mark, the Winchesters will be able to rebuild what they lost.An alternate version of season 10 - forward, "To Build A Home" tells the tale of how loyalty, trust, perseverance, hope, and ultimately, love, will overcome any obstacles thrown in its path.





	1. Thank you.

Sam jabbed the needle into Dean's neck as quickly as he could, trying his hardest to ignore the groans of pain coming from the bound body next to him, injecting the blood into the demon. 

"You're killing me." The demon laughed and Sam visibly cringed, "You know that right?" 

Sam just walked away to his own room, wishing that none of this had happened, that he had his big brother back. The brother who loved pie, and made references to old songs and movies, who had a weird and strange obsession with cowboys. The brother who'd raised him, held him when he had nightmares as a kid, who'd been both his mother and father. He wished that that demon, that monster in that room, wasn't real.  

_______________________________________

Cas had been hiding in the library since saving Sam from Dean. He wasn't sure what else to do. How do you react when the soul you'd saved from Hell, the soul who'd become your best friend, the soul who'd become your everything, the soul you'd fallen in love with... was turning into something it wasn't? 

Dean was no longer Dean. And that's what scared Cas the most. 

After the angel heard Sam go to bed, Cas walked through the cold, empty, dark hallways until he found himself looking into Dean eyes. They were like black voids, empty and dead, and Castiel longed to see his beautiful, vibrant green eyes that seemed to light up the room when he smiled. 

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Dean's voice was deep and mocking. It was hard to see him like this. "You know I'm not quite sure why Sam and I always keep you around. You always fuck shit up, go behind our backs. I mean what do you even do? You're just a stupid fallen angel who was rejected from heaven and never really accepted by humanity. It's pathetic." 

Dean had managed to find where Cas hurt most, and poke and prod around, making Cas feel utterly useless. And although he knew that he meant none of it, this wasn't the real Dean sitting before him, it still hurt. And it was still true. 

Cas got up and walked away, not wanting to subject himself to Dean's constant insults and attempts to hurt the angel. 

All that Cas could hope was that the blood would work, because if it didn't... well Cas didn't want to think about that.   
_______________________________________

After another 24 hours of blood shots Dean was finally a human again. However Sam and Cas decided it would be best to keep him bound for a little while just in case. 

Sam was in the kitchen making some food for Dean, who hadn't eaten for ages, while Cas chose to stay with the newly cured human. 

Dean was staring at the floor, ashamed, guilty, full of regret. How do you even go about apologising for the things he'd done? How do you even go about getting forgiveness? 

"Dean. I know what's going through your mind right now so stop. It wasn't the real you." 

"But Cas, the things I did. I killed for fun. I nearly killed Sam for fucks sake! And the things I said to you... how can you even be in the same room as me right now?!"

"Because it wasn't you Dean. I know why you feel guilty and why you feel how you feel... you blame yourself. I would too. But you shouldn't. What happened wasn't your fault and it most certainly wasn't you. You're nothing but good." 

"Bullshit Cas. I'm not your 'righteous man' anymore. Haven't been for a really long time. I'm not sure I ever really was. I'm a selfish, dependant asshole who fucks up everything he does." 

"No you're not Dean. You've sacrificed everything for your brother. You went to Hell for your brother. You gave up your dreams of a normal life to save strangers from the monsters of the world. You have saved the world more times than I can remember. You are the most honest, selfless, caring human being I've ever met, or even heard of." 

Cas spoke with an intensity and passion Dean had never heard the angel talk with before. It was probably more than he had ever heard him say at once before. And Dean really wasn't sure how to react to it. What do you say to something like that? 

Dean took a moment to just stare at Castiel. To take in his beautiful blue eyes and just get lost in them. And oh how he could. This was the person that he had fallen for. Ironic isn't it? Falling for an angel? But Dean knew that Castiel could never love Dean that way. Because not only was he an angel, but because Dean doesn't deserve his love. 

They stared at each other for what could have either been seconds or hours, Dean wasn't really sure, before he broke the silence, finally deciding on what to say. 

"Thank you."   
_______________________________________

The next morning San came in to find Cas sitting against the wall staring at a chip in the devils trap that had contained Dean as a demon. He called the angels name a few times, which startled his brother awake, however Cas was completely unaware of the younger Winchester's presence. 

"Castiel?" Sam tried again, and this time the angel blinked, before looking around like a wild rabbit and finally focusing in on Sam. 

"Good morning Sam. I apologise. I was just thinking and didn't realise you'd come in." 

Sam chuckled a bit at Cas' formality. "No problems dude."

"What do you want Sammy?" Dean had finally gotten over the initial shock of being woken up. He was not a morning person. 

"It's Sam. And hey Dean. How're you feeling?" 

"Like I need more sleep." Dean said gruffly. But then added, "but otherwise I'm fine Sammy." This earned him one of Sam's classic bitch faces, but then his lip crept up into a smiled that screamed mischief. 

"Oh okay that's good. Anyway I figured we'd untie you now but if you want to sleep I'll come back in a few hou-"

"Nope! That's okay. I'm good. Ready for the day ahead! Yay it's morning!" Dean cut in, putting on the most cheerful tone he could muster. 

Even Cas chuckled at the exchange between the two brothers. Their relationship was one that most siblings would envy. 

"Okay. Let's get you out of those cuffs now."


	2. Something else.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a nightmare about his time as a demon. Castiel comforts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- There's a pretty graphic murder scene in this (it's not too bad but just fair warning)

Do you ever feel like your life is crumbling around you, and you have no one to turn to and no where to run? Well that's how Dean felt. 

Ever since becoming human again Sam and Cas has been coddling him. And sure, that sounded like they cared. But they were... distant, to say the least. Physically no, they never let Dean out of their sight. I mean he couldn't even go to the friggin' bathroom without a million questions... but mentally? His brother and the angel were more distant than they'd ever been. The relationships that had taken so long to build were ruined in a matter of months. And Dean had never felt more alone. 

While Sam and Castiel spent most of their time researching for something, anything that could cure the mark, Dean spent his days hidden in his room. Drinking and sleeping. Dean knew it wasn't healthy, God knows that Sam and Cas had told him that many times, but it's not as though he deserved any better. Dean may have been a human again, but he was far from cured. 

When he did manage to fall asleep, mostly because he was blacked out drunk, Dean's dreams were plagued with nightmares and memories of the things he had done as a demon. He would wake crying, shaking and sweating, and he could tell by the rasp in his voice that he had been screaming. 

Ask anyone and they'll tell you that "time heals all wounds". But it's the biggest load of bullshit Dean has ever heard. And he knew this because not only had things not been getting better, but they had been getting worse. 

One night during a particularly bad nightmare Dean remembered the night he murdered an innocent girl. She couldn't have been more than nineteen. He remembered her long, thick fawn hair, her rich, hazel eyes and thin lips, her pale skin that was free of any blemishes. She was the epitome of youth in all its glory; beautiful, carefree and intelligent. He remembered her screams, how she pleaded for her life. He remembered how his blade felt against her skin as he sliced open her throat. Her remembered how her crimson, sticky blood came pouring out like a fountain... the sound of her chocking on it.

He woke up to find Castiel shaking his arm. His face wet with a mixture of salty tears and sweat. He could hear himself struggling to breathe and felt the onset of a panic attack. Cas sat down on the bed and held his shoulders, steadying the broken hunter before him, and tried to calm him down. 

"It's okay Dean, it's okay. Look at me. Look into my eyes." Dean looked at him, and the angel smiled slightly. "I want you to try to copy what I'm doing okay? Breathe in... 1, 2, 3... breathe out. Breathe in... 1, 2, 3... breathe out." 

Castiel gently grabbed Dean's hand and place it on his chest so that he could feel the angel's own breathing. It was soothing and even in his panicked state the touch still sent electricity down his spine.

After a few minutes that felt like an eternity, Dean managed to get his breathing back under control. Unsure of what to do or say, the hunter opted to look into the angel's eyes, as he often found himself doing. They were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Big, round, blue eyes that reminded him of the ocean. His thoughts were interrupted when he realised that Cas was saying something. 

"Hmm? What?"

"I asked if you were feeling better now Dean?" 

"Oh. Um yeah." Dean hesitated, thinking of how best to continue. "Look I'm really sorry Cas. I didn't mean to wake you up, or interrupt whatever it is you do overnight, and I'm fine now. Thank you for helping me out. I really apprec-"

"Dean." 

"What?" 

"You're rambling." 

They both chuckled at that and Dean became vaguely aware that his hand was still placed on Cas' chest. Right over his heart. He pulled back, even though he really, really, didn't want to. But he and the angel were just friends. And that's the way they would remain, because he didn't deserve Castiel. And he never would.  
_____________________________________

Castiel was sitting in the bunker's library when he first heard the screams. It wasn't the first time he'd heard them since coming to stay at the bunker, but Sam had said to try and ignore them. That waking Dean up wasn't a good idea. But tonight Dean's screams were louder than usual. More pained. And Castiel could not ignore it. 

When he arrived at Dean's door, and slowly opened it, the angel was not prepared for what he saw. The hunter was thrashing around, sleeping in pools of sweat, with tears streaming down his face. His whole body was shaking and he was still screaming. It looked like a scene from that movie Metatron had shown him, The Exorcist. 

He slowly approached Dean, and began to shake his arm. Once awake, the hunter began having a panic attack, barely breathing properly, and so he tried to help him with a simple exercise he'd read about in a newspaper once when he was searching for a case. Funny what things will come in handy when you least expect it. 

It was hard. Hard to see the person you love more than anything else in the world struggling so much. In so much pain. The last few days had been difficult. Trying to find a balance between giving Dean space and being there for him, trying to find a cure for the mark and trying to forget the things Dean had said to him as a demon. 

Castiel was a failure. And even though he knew Dean hadn't mean what he'd said, it didn't make it any less true. The angel did more bad than good and so he needed to do something to help for once. And that's why he was so invested in fixing the mark. Maybe if he could do that he would be able to make up for some of the wrongs he'd done.

Dean began to apologise for having nightmares and Cas inwardly cringed. Did Dean really feel like he needed to apologise for something that he had absolutely no control over? 

Rather than lecturing Dean on how it wasn't his fault, because he knew the eldest Winchester wouldn't believe him anyway, Cas decided to make a joke. Yes, socially awkward Castiel, decided to make a joke.

"Dean." 

"What?" 

"You're rambling." 

Apparently this was the right choice as Dean laughed a little, his smile lighting up the whole room. It was a good look on him. But then again, what didn't look good on the hunter? 

"You're something else Cas."


	3. Goodnight angel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean feels like his relationships are failing and he doesn’t know what to do. 
> 
> Sam and Dean go on a hunt.

When Dean woke up the next morning he felt better than he had in weeks. He actually felt rested for once. After Cas left last night, Dean hadn't had anymore nightmares which he was grateful for. But he needed coffee. Coffee is a necessity okay? And so Dean, hauled himself out of bed and made his way to the kitchen, stumbling as he went. Mornings were not his thing. 

San was already in the kitchen when he arrived, making some kind of yogurt, chia seed shit. Why couldn't he have a brother who made pancakes and bacon? 

"Morning Sam." 

"Morning Dean. How's it going?" 

Dean put his head in his hands and muffled in reply, "Mmkay thks." 

"That's good." Sam grabbed a cup of coffee for himself and Dean and sat down. "So I was thinking, maybe we should take a little break. Go down to a lake or something." 

And just like that Dean's good mood was ruined. Jesus Christ Sammy do you gotta ruin everything? 

Sam looked at Dean expectantly, waiting for a reply. "Nah. Sammy I'm fine, but we need to be back out on the road saving the people who need saving." 

"And I get that Dean. But we've been doing this a long time and I think we need a break with everything that's been going on and-"

"No. Sam. I told you I'm fine. The mark is... the mark is fine. And I don't need a vacation, I need to do something." 

Sam just sighed and put his head on the table. 

"There's a case in Pittsburg. Two bodies found torn apart with their hearts missing. Should be a milk run. We'll be back in three days at most." 

"Could just be an animal attack." 

"Bullshit and you know it." 

Sam and Dean stared at each other for a while, both trying to see who would give in first, but they both knew Dean was getting his way. 

Sam sighed and looked away in defeat, while Dean sighed in relief. 

"Fine but the minute something goes sideways-"

"I'll tell you. Where's Cas anyway?" 

"I'm not sure. He said he had business to take care of in Heaven and left about an hour ago." 

Dean frowned. He always felt like a part of him was missing when the angel wasn't around. "Oh okay. I need a shower so we'll meet at the impala in 40."  
______________________________________

When the brothers arrived in the shitty motel in Pittsburg, they both set up their sides of the room, arguing as they worked. 

"Come on Sam! I'm not some five year old kid who needs a fucking chaperone! Splitting up will be easier!" 

"No it won't make it easier. You aren't stable right now Dean!" 

"Who the fuck are you?! My therapist? I'm. Fine. And until you realise that this is just going to keep getting worse!" 

"Whatever Dean. Go. Just promise yo-"

"Yes I'll let you know if I need help. Later bitch."

And so it was settled. Dean would go and check out the crime scenes while Sam went to talk to the families of the victims. 

On his way to the police station, Dean realised how shit his relationship with Sam had gotten. I suppose almost killing, no murdering, your brother does that. But in the past they'd always gotten over it. The devil, soulless Sam, the leviathans... Their relationship was built on trust and loyalty. But maybe things don't always bounce back quite as easy after so long. Maybe it's like a rubber band. How eventually it doesn't work anymore after being stretched so many times. 

Right now they had minimal conversation, barely looked at each other, and when they did talk it usually resulted in some sort of argument. 

And it hurt. When you've been dependant on your brother for most of your life and then suddenly it all breaks down. Dean didn't really know what to do, or how to fix it. 

All he knew was that he needed to try. He had to try. He was the one to fuck it all up and so he was going to be the one to fix it.  
______________________________________

It was at around 2am the next morning that Dean and Sam were awoken by the sound of wings and someone crashing into the wall. Startled from their research, they looked up, guns at hand, to find a battered and bruised Castiel, barely able to stand under his own weight. And Dean was over to the angel in the blink of an eye, with Sam trailing not too far behind. 

"Dean" Cas managed to rasp out, voice even lower than normal, before his legs gave out and he collapsed, luckily falling into Dean.

"What the fuck happened Cas?!" 

"Angels. A group- tor-t-tortured me"

"WHAT? WHO?" Dean was fuming. Who the fuck did this? Dean was going to find them and slit their throats. 

"It w-was a-" That was all Cas managed before passing out. He was losing a lot of blood (although he wasn't quite sure from where) and even though he angel, his grace clearly wasn't cutting it. 

"Shit! Fuck! Sam get the first aid shit!" 

While Sam ran off to the impala, Dean started undressing the unconscious man before him, trying to see the extent of the damage done to him. 

There was quite a few open slashes, deep but not too big, that would need some stitches. And he was swollen and bruised on his face but that would clear up eventually on its own. 

How the fuck did this happen? 

When Sam arrived back, Dean grabbed the whiskey and the stitches, carefully cleaning each wound before sewing him up. He took his time and made sure to do it well. The angel deserved to be taken care of. He later Cas down on his bed under the covers and then finished off his beer before jumping into the bed too. But made sure to stay on the other side of the mattress, despite his deepest desires to snuggle up to his friend. 

Sam was already asleep, obviously not wanting to talk to Dean now that he knew Cas was alright. And so Dean allowed himself to touch Cas, and just gently brush the black, thick hair out of his face. Before rolling over to his side and turning out the light. 

"Goodnight angel."


	4. The only good thing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas argue.

When Cas woke up the next morning the first thing he noticed was that he was in some sort of motel room. The second thing he noticed was the pain. And man, was he in a lot of it. 

Trying to figure out what had happened and where he was, Cas remembered the events of the night before. Where was he now though? And why where his wounds patched? Oh yes, he'd managed to escape and find the Winchesters. But where were they? Were they okay? What if he was followed? Cas' worries we're interrupted when Dean walked into the room, carrying a small bag. 

"Oh, mornin' Cas. How are you feeling?" 

"Good morning Dean. Yes thank you for taking me in and dressing my wounds. But to answer your original question, I'm in a bit of pain, but I will be fine." 

"It's not a problem Cas. Least I could do after, well, everything." Dean once again remembered the horrors he had caused as a demon and shuddered. Brushing it off, Dean continued, feigning a smile. "Sam's gone out to interview some of the witnesses on our case." Dean paused, taking a long, deep breathe. "What the fuck happened man? And don't lie." 

Castiel sighed and took a moment before replying, "I went to Heaven."

"What?" Dean was never sure why Cas always seemed to go running back to Heaven. It always ended badly and the other angels never accepted him. Many of them hated him. "Why Cas?" 

"I was trying, searching, for anyone who might be able t-to help." 

"To help with what?" 

"The mark." 

Dean put his head in his hands, sighing, trying to remain calm, despite his initial instinct to yell or punch something. Cas wearily continued with his story. 

"After I left Heaven, unsuccessful, a group of rogue angels ambushed me. They knocked me out and then took me to a small cabin in the woods nearby the gate to Heaven, before they uh... tortured me. Once I escaped I immediately came to you and Sam." 

"Jesus Christ Cas!" Dean was yelling now. He put himself in danger, yet again, for Dean. And what the fuck is wrong with angels thinking it's okay to just torture the people they don't like?! "Cas what if you died? You could've fucking died! The Mark isn't worth your death! Okay? You're literally the only good thing in my life right now. Sam and me? Our relationship is fucked. Maybe ours is too but it's still better than that! Why can't you understand that?!" Dean was screaming so loud and passionately that he was close to tears. 

"But Dean, fixing the Mark is worth my death. I'd do anything to help you! I raised you from perdition. I rebuilt your body. I rebuilt your soul. I gave everything for you. I can't just let the Mark take over you as it inevitably will, and see everything I've worked for and given myself to, go to waste like that. You mean too much to me. To Sam. To everything. You are the righteous man." 

It was at this moment that Dean considered exactly how much effort it must have taken to save him from Hell. To rebuild his body. To rebuild his soul. And exactly how much Castiel had given up to help him over the years. 

Sure, Cas has fucked up. But it's always been with the right intentions. Cas had been there through Hell, Sam's demon blood addiction, the apocalypse, when Sam was soulless, the leviathans, purgatory, Sam's trials, the angels falling, Abaddon, and so much more. He was Dean's best friend. His only friend really. 

But why? Dean was no hero. He wasn't even a very good person. He could be such a depressed, drunk dick sometimes. But he was an arsehole in general. 

Dean took a long deep breathe before talking, and avoided looking at Cas' eyes. "Cas... my life doesn't mean shit okay? You've been investing in the wrong person. And I'm not your righteous man. At least not anymore." 

Dean walked out after that.  
_____________________________________

After Dean left the motel room Cas sat back down on the bed sighing and resting again. Yelling at Dean had hurt the muscles in his abdomen. 

It wasn't long before Sam came through the door, asking where Dean had disappeared to. 

"I don't know Sam. He just left." 

"What? Why?" 

"I told him how this happened to me and he exploded. He's not doing well Sam. He hates himself, what he is and what he was." 

"I know. It's happened before, after Hell. He was such a depressed mess after that, but I think it's worse this time around." 

"I agree. I'm not sure how to help him." 

"We just have to be there for him. He's going to try to push us away again, but we have to just always keep coming back. Keep pushing. He needs us right now."  
_____________________________________

When Dean returned from his drive around town, Sam was already back at the motel. 

"Hey Dean. Feeling better?" 

Dean just grunted in response. 

"Okay well I'm gonna just go to the laundromat. Want me to take some of your stuff too?" 

"Nah that's okay Sammy. I'm all good right now." 

"Okay later." 

"Later."

Everything was silent for a while after Sam left. Neither the hunter or angel spoke, unsure of what was best to say after their earlier argument. It was Cas that eventually broke the quiet. 

"Dean, I am sorry that you are angry at me. But you are too important to me to just let you become possessed by the Mark, and I'd do it again." 

Dean just sat down, taking a minute before replying. "Okay Cas. I guess I can't blame ya. If the positions were switched I'd do the same for you. Thanks though." 

Dean finally looked up to meet Castiel's eyes, admiring the big, blues that he loved so much. They gazed into each other's eyes, smiling.

"Wanna Watch something on the TV?"


	5. You’re beautiful Cas.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas comforts Dean during a case.

Dean and Cas were sitting thigh-to-thigh on Dean's bed watching the latest episode of Orange is the new black when they heard Sam return. 

They both shuffled down the hall to find the youngest Winchester sitting in the library on his laptop. 

"Oh hey guys!" He said smiling, "So get this! Two bodies found about a three hours drive from here drained of blood." 

"What are you thinking? Vampires?" 

"Yeah maybe. Want to give it a shot? Go check it out?" 

Dean looked at his brother like he'd grown a second head. Was he actually suggesting that they go check out a case? What happened to Sam wanting to take a vacation? To stop hunting for a while? It seemed like his attitude had just completely changed, and it was a tad bit weird. Although, Dean wasn't going to comment. It suited him just fine! 

"Yeah sure. Sounds good. What about Cas though?" 

"What about me?" 

"Um, you got tortured by a group of fucking angels?" 

"I am fine. I will come with you and rest. I can help out with researching and see how I recover." 

"Okay. Awesome! Let's meet in 20 at my baby!"

Dean was happy. His brother was being less of a mother hen and Cas- Cas would be fine. Maybe things do eventually start to get better?  
_____________________________________

As Dean slid into the car that had become his home, he thought about how important such an object had become to him. 

After Mary had died John had turned into an empty person, if you could even call him that, who only had eyes for revenge. He didn't care how he got it, but he knew he'd get it. And so began the Winchester's quest to find and destroy yellow eyes. 

Ever since then, Dean and Sam hadn't had a place to call home. All the moving around was hard at first. Education was something Dean eventually gave up on. He had to play both mother and father to his little brother in their absence. Which often gave Sam the opportunities that Dean never had. He studied in school, made a few friends even, and managed to stay out of trouble. 

John had raised his boys not as his sons, but as his soldiers. While Dean was always happy to follow orders, San had often rebelled, causing tensions that more often than not spilled over into heated arguments. And when he was old enough, Sam left in search of not only a better education, but a better life. And Dean couldn't really blame him. 

Sam had a home in those years. He had someone to cuddle up to at night, a warm bed he could call his own, people and friends who would always look out for him... Dean never got that. The comfort. The safety. While Dean was happy that Sam had been given that opportunity, he almost resented him for it too. 

And so this car that seemed meaningless to most onlookers, had become his home. It was the only consistency in the fucked up freak show that was his life. And in the more recent years, as Sam had been reunited with his brother and they rekindled their relationship, it had become the same to the younger Winchester. Even though now, the Winchesters lived in the bunker, it would always be Dean's baby. 

Dean looked at his collection of music, searching for the right one, and once he placed his hand on the worn, old tapes, he carefully pushed it into the player. 

Dean closed his eyes as the music began to fill his ears, and he heard Cas get in behind him and Sam next to him, before saying something along the lines of "Let's go."

I close my eyes,  
Only for a moment and the moment's gone.  
All my dreams,  
Pass before my eyes with curiosity.  
Dust in the wind.  
All they are is dust in the wind. 

Dean lifted the hand break, shifted into gear and slowly took off, pressing his foot down onto the accelerator with care.  
_____________________________________

"Good morning Sheriff Jackson. I'm Special Agent Kennedy and this is Special Agent Hetfield. We're here about the two bodies found recently, drained of blood?" Dean introduced them to the Sheriff, who was slightly taller than Dean, but not taller than Sam, a big overweight, and had brown eyes and grey hair.

"Ah yes. They don't usually get the FBI out for this kind of stuff though."

"Well we were just passing through a town nearby for another case, and when that finished up, head office asked us to come take a look since bodies drained of blood is a bit out of the ordinary." Sam quickly, but effortlessly lied. 

"Well, we sure could use a hand. My boys are stumped." 

"I can imagine. So what do you know?"

"Well the bodies were all found outside a bar on the corner and Luck and Frankston Street. Both had some strange teeth marks on their necks, and they'd been drained of their blood completely. That's all we know right now. It's next to nothing I know, but this case is fucking weird."

Sam and Dean both chuckled a bit. "It sure is. We're there any witnesses?" 

"Not that we are aware of." 

"Okay thanks. Well thank you for your help. We will be in touch." 

Once Sam and Dean returned to the car, the started to drive back to the motel they'd rented a room at, where Cas was currently waiting.

"Okay so I think you should go check the bodies, look at the neck wounds he was talking about to make sure it's vampires, although I'd be pretty friggin surprised if it's not." 

"Okay. What are you going to do?" 

"I need to check up on Cas and change his wounds. I also wanna have a quick snooze. I'm tired." 

"Okay sure. Well I will drop you off." 

"Sounds good. Tonight we need to go to that bar and check it out." 

"Yep. Okay well I'll be back in a few hours." 

"Seeya Sammy. Don't break my baby. Okay? Don't you fucking hurt her." 

Sam scoffed, laughing. "I won't Dean."  
_____________________________________

When Dean walked into the motel room he was surprised to find Cas sleeping on his bed. He walked over and began to slowly shake the angel's shoulders. 

"Wake up Cas. We've gotta change those dressings." 

Cas shot up, fists clenched in the air, ready to fight.

"Jesus and you think I'm the grumpy sleeper."

"What do you want Dean that warrants you waking me up?" 

"I need to take a look at your wounds. See if they're healing or if the dressings need changing again." 

"Okay." Cas slowly lifted the AC/DC shirt he'd borrowed from Dean over his head, and took it off, while Dean in attempt to not stare walked to grab some booze and supplies. 

Thankfully the wounds were beginning to heal, although it had taken a lot longer than normal with Cas' Grace in it's weakened state. 

Dean's hands lingered on Cas' chest for what was far longer than what could be considered simply "platonic". Dean's eyes found Cas' staring intently at him. And Dean stared right back, as per usual, before curiosity got the better of him and he glanced down at the angel's perfect, pink lips. But before he let himself do anything he might regret, he pulled his hand back. 

"Thank you Dean for all your help." 

"S'okay Cas. Least I could do." 

Dean yawned and realised how tired he truly was. He'd barely been sleeping lately.

"You're tired." It was more of a statement, than a question. 

"Yeah. A bit Cas. I might just lay down for an hour or so." 

"Good Dean. You need to rest."

Cas got up and went to sit in the chair next to the bed, while Dean removed his shoes and got under the covers. 

Dean tossed and turned for about ten minutes before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to find Cas looking at him. 

"Sorry Cas. I can't sleep." 

"Don't apologise Dean." 

"Can you-never mind." 

"What Dean?" 

"It's stupid." 

"Whatever it is, I can assure you it's not." 

Dean mustered up whatever courage he could find and took a deep breath. 

"Could you stay. Here. With me?" 

"Of course Dean. Anything." 

And so Cas removed his trench coat and shoes before climbing under the covers. Dean turned over to face his angel, while Cas simply ran his fingers through the hunter's hair. 

"Can you sing to me?" 

"I can try. I don't know many songs though." 

"That's okay. Please?" 

"Okay." 

Hush my love now don't you cry.  
Everything will be alright.  
Close your eyes and drift in dream.  
Rest in peaceful sleep. 

If there's one thing I hope I showed you,  
If there's one thing I hope I showed you,  
Hope I showed you, 

Just give love to all.  
Just give love to all.  
Just give love to all.

Oh my love in my arms tight.  
Every day you give me life.  
As I drift of to your world.  
Rest in peaceful sleep. 

I know there's one thing that you showed me,  
I know there's one thing that you showed me,  
That you showed me. 

Just give love to all.  
Just give love to all.  
Just give love to all.  
Let's give love to all.  
Let's give love to all. 

Just give love to all.  
Let's give love to all.  
Just give love to all.  
Let's give love to all. 

Dean was mostly asleep by the time Cas had finished, but he still managed to whisper a simple "You're beautiful Cas." before drifting off into the sweet, unconscious bliss of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- First song is Dust in the wind by Kansas  
> \- Second song is Lullaby by Creed


	6. Bluebird.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another case comes up. Cas and Dean watch movies while Sam goes out.

A few days after the case, Cas had comforted Dean again through his nightmares. When Dean woke up the next morning, he wasn't surprised to see that Cas wasn't there. Although that didn't make it hurt any less (even if they weren't even together). He was, however, surprised when the sweet (well actually bitter) smell of coffee hit him. And god if that smell in the morning didn't make him happy. 

He turned over to find a fresh cup of coffee on his bed side table, and a small note next to it. He picked up the note first... 

Dearest Dean,  
I hope you are feeling better this morning. If not, maybe this coffee will help. Sam and I are researching in the library. 

Cas 

Dean was smiling, thankful for his angel who always knew how to make him feel better. Who understood him.

Dean grabbed his mug of coffee and shuffled down the halls to the library. 

"Mornin' Sammy. Cas." 

"Good morning Dean." Man Cas' voice was like music to his ears.

"Dude it's actually good afternoon sleepyhead." Sam's voice, however, was not. 

"Thanks for that Sammy." 

Dean was actually feeling better that he had in ages. He was getting along with his brother, and sure there were things unsaid, and sometimes it was awkward, but on the whole they were almost normal. Well, as normal as life can be for a Winchester anyway.

And his relationship with Cas was going great. They'd mostly moved on from everything, even if Dean did still feel like shit about everything he'd done and said to the angel. 

So yeah. Things were good. But Dean never got his hopes up too high because when have things ever gone well for the Winchesters? 

"No problems Jerk. Imma head out and go for a run." 

"All good." 

"Actually I think I might go get some groceries too. Cool if I take the Impala?" 

"Don't. Fucking. Hurt. Her. And bring me some goddamn pie. Capisce?" 

"Blah blah Dean. I know the drill. I'll be back in a few hours. Later." 

"Cya."

"Goodbye Sam."  
_____________________________________

About half an hour after Sam's departure that the eldest Winchester and the angel found themselves sitting down, as they so often did, watching a movie on Dean's bed.

Dean had gotten some popcorn and beer for the both of them. And Cas had complained about the cold so Dean had searched for the softest blanket he could find to give to him. 

"Alright so what do you wanna watch? I've got The Terminator or Star Wars: A New Hope." 

"I think I'd like to watch Star Wars please. I remember you said you loved that one." 

"We don't have to watch it just because I love it Cas. Which one do you wanna watch?"

"No I know Dean. I still would like to watch it if that's okay? If you say it is good then it must be."

Dean wasn't sure how to answer that. Cas was one of the only people who could leave him speechless like this. And Dean loved the dork all the more for it. 

Instead of replying, Dean simply just started the movie and sat down next to Cas. 

About fifteen minutes into the movie, Dean found himself cuddled up next to his best friend, sharing the blanket. Which one of them had moved he couldn't remember. And Dean noticed that he was no longer interested in watching the movie, and opted instead to watch the angel. 

He was studying the details of his face. The creases in his forehead, the smile lines on his cheeks (which was ironic considering how little the man smiled. But god when he did, it was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. The way his eyes light up, his pearly white teeth, the way his pink, full lips curl up. It was breathtaking)". 

He had probably been admiring his best friend for ten minutes before Cas turned his face to look at him. Their eyes met and everything else in the room disappeared. 

"Thanks for staying with me last night. And for the coffee." 

"There's no need to thank me Dean. It's not a problem." 

"No. You deserve to be thanked. You didn't have to do that. Hell, you didn't have to do any of the shit you've done for me over the last few years. I don't know why you still hang around us."

"Dean?" 

"Mhmm." 

"Shut up." 

Dean just chuckled. It was always so out of place to hear the angel talk like that. Their eyes met once again. He'd never get over how beautiful they were. 

"Your eyes are really blue." Shit! Fuck! He had not meant to say that! 

"Thank you. I think?" 

"Yeah. No take it as a compliment." 

"Thank you." 

"Hey guess what!" 

"You're like a bluebird! Cause you've got wings and you have blue eyes!" 

"Did you just call me a bird?" 

"Yeah I guess I did." 

"You sure know how to flatter a man Dean."

There was an awkward pause for a moment before Dean spoke again.

"Cas?" 

"Yes Dean." 

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything." 

"Um. I l-lo." He couldn't get the words out. "I like watching movies with you." 

"Me too Dean. Are you okay?" 

"Y-yeah. I'm uh, I'm fine." 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure." 

Man he loved his bluebird.  
_____________________________________

"He guys I'm back." 

Sam slid the car keys across the library table while Dean simultaneously chucked him a beer. 

"Hey Sam. How'd it go?" 

"Yeah good. But you two-wait. Where's Cas?" 

"Showers."

"Ah. Okay well you gotta help me with the groceries-"

"Damn you Cas. Getting out of chores." Dean mumbled, chuckling to himself quietly. 

"-and then we are going to Boise National Forest in Idaho. New case came up. I'll tell you on the way." 

"Okay. I'll just let Cas know and then I'll come help you." 

"Sure Dean. You gonna check up on him in the showers or you gonna wait?" Sam wriggled his eyebrows and smirked, knowing exactly how to press his brother's buttons.

"Fuck off Sam. Just cause we're brothers doesn't mean I'm going to keep putting up with your bullshit." 

Sam feigned his best high pitched voice, mocking his brother and laughing while he did so. "Good god! Such foul language young man!" 

"Lord have mercy on my soul."


	7. Lucky we’re family.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New case and Cas and Dean get lunch in a diner.

"Talk to me." 

"Two people went missing while they were hiking in the National Park." 

"Okay. What makes this our kinda thing?" 

"Well nothing in particular really. They just kind of vanished apparently." 

"Yes that does sound a bit strange. Time will tell if it's actually a supernatural being causing this or not." Cas chimes in.   
_____________________________________

"Hi. I'm Special Agent Hetfield, these are my partners, Special Angets Kennedy and Johnson. We're here about the people who went missing?" Sam introduced. 

"Oh yes. Well they were two teenagers. Both 17, obviously going into the woods for some... fun, so they snuck in after dark. Haven't been seen since." 

"Okay. How do you know they were doing this?" Dean questioned. 

"Well one of their close friends told us. The girl said that Betty had told her about their plans previously." 

"Okay. What is the name of the friend?" Sam asked. 

"Olivia. Olivia Malcom." 

"It's okay if we look around the crime scene yeah?" Dean asked. 

"No problems." 

"Thank you for your time Sheriff. Let us know if you are made aware of any new information." Cas finally spoke. 

They walked off towards the car, looking for any sorts of clues. 

"Hey guys. Check this out." Dean said.

"What the fuck is that?" 

"I believe it is a footprint Sam." 

"Yeah. I get that, I mean what kind of person has a footprint like that?" 

"I don't know. It's certainly strange. Let's take a photo and research it later." 

And so they continued searching. 

"Dean. Sam. There appears to be a small smudge of blood over here." Cas called. 

"Okay. Well this is definitely turning out to be our kind of thing." Dean said. 

"Yeah. Okay well I think that's it. Let's head back to the motel and figure out what's happening."   
_____________________________________

"Okay so we know that it came out at night. And has this weird footprint." Dean said, trying to figure out what they had to go on. 

"And it took the bodies. Didn't leave anyone behind." Sam reminded his brother. 

"Hm yes. It's a very strange situation. Most monsters typically leave the bodies on the site they kill them at." Cas added. 

"Okay well Sam, you want to research the footprint here. And Cas and I will go talk to that Liv chick?" 

"Yeah sure." 

"Alright. Let's go Cas."

The two jumped into the Impala that even the angel had began to associate with a home. Although Cas knew that even if it wasn't reciprocated, his home, where he belonged, was with Dean. 

The hunter turned the ignition and the sweet sound of Guns and Roses filled the air around them. 

She's got a smile that it seems to me   
Reminds me of childhood, memories  
Where everything was as fresh as a bright blue sky   
Now and then when I see her face she takes me away to that special place   
And if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry

"Classic song Cas. What do ya reckon?" 

"It's very good Dean. I like this song." 

"Yeah. It's a great song." 

There was a few moments of silence before Dean started to pull into the car park of a diner they'd passed on the way in. 

"Oh. What are we doing here Dean?" 

"I'm hungry. We're eating." 

"Okay." 

The two were welcomed by a short, slightly older, brunette who gave them a booth and some menus. 

"Welcome to Cheryl's Diner. You two don't look familiar so you aren't local. What brings you guys here?" 

"We're just passing through for a few days for business." Dean said.

"Ah okay. Well I hope you enjoy your stay. Is there anything I can get you to start off with? Drinks?" 

"Um yeah I'll have a coke please." 

"A glass of water would suffice for me please." Cas said. 

"No problems I'll bring those out and get your orders in a few." 

Dean ended up getting his usual: a burger with the lot, while Cas opted to just eat some of his fries and a small bite of Dean's burger. 

"Hey! Order your own burger Cas!" 

"It's not as though you really need it Dean." 

Dean scoffed, offended, before kicking Cas' shin under the table.

"Ow! Was that really necessary?" 

"You called me fat!" 

Cas laughed, a rare occasion and Dean was proud to have been the cause of it. "No. I'm simply saying you could eat a lot healthier for a man your age Dean." 

"Fuck you Cas. I'm a warrior! I can't eat rabbit food!" 

Cas just ate another fry without breaking his gaze from Dean. A cocky smile on his lips. And damn if Dean didn't want to kiss it off of him right then. 

Dean ordered some cherry pie for dessert which Cas also grabbed a small piece of. 

"Hey! Not my pie?!" Dean whined.

"You sound like a small child Dean."

"I thought you didn't need to eat anyway?"

Cas just grinned. And Dean looked at him confused before it hit him. 

"You sneaky bastard. You just do this to piss me off don't you?!" 

Cas' grin just widened. 

"You're lucky we're family Cas! Otherwise you'd be dead right now." 

"I highly doubt that Dean. I'm an angel, you're a human. You'd loose." 

"I don't know about that. I've got this Mark now! Might come in handy?" 

Cas just sighed, the joke falling flat. 

"I'm sorry Dean." 

"Don't be." 

"We will fix this." 

"I know we will." Dean lied. He didn't know anything. "I'm going to go pay the bill." 

"Okay I'll go wait in the car."

Dean left and was in his own daze waiting until he heard the waitress, Patricia, asking him how everything was.

"It was really good thank you." 

"I'm glad. That'll be $25 thank you. So, how long have you two known each other?" 

"Oh um, I think like 6 or 7 years maybe?" 

"Woah! Well, you two make a really cute couple anyway." 

Couple. Wait what? "Oh um, we aren't together." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Ah yeah. I'm pretty sure we aren't together." 

"Mmkay." 

"Anyway, uh, thanks. See you around Patricia." Dean offered a smile before leaving.


	8. Bonum nocte.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilo and Stitch movie nights.

That night Sam, Dean and Cas sat in a shitty motel room researching. 

"I believe it could be a wendigo." Cas announced. 

"Yeah I was thinking that too." Sam said. 

"Okay. Been years since we came across a wendigo!" 

"Yeah I think it was around the time you first picked me up from Stanford wasn't it?" 

"Yeah I reckon. Anyway, so silver kills them. And last time he was keeping everyone in the mines." 

"Yes. I do not believe there are any mines here though so it might be difficult to locate the wendigo." Cas added. 

Sam and Dean groaned in unison. That was a big ass forest. 

"Well we should start near where the trails where the kid went missing." 

"Mmkay. Well I'm gonna try get some shut eye first. We'll head out tomorrow."

"Yeah okay. Me too." Sam said and headed over to his bed.

"You gonna be okay Cas?" Dean asked. 

"Yes. I will be okay. I will just sit here and watch over you both." 

There was a time where Dean would have argued about Cas 'watching over' him, but now it just made his heart flutter. Man he was so far gone. 

"Alrighty then. Night guys."  
____________________________________

Finding where the wendigo had been hiding was difficult, to say the least. They searched and searched for hours, and lucky they eventually found a large cave and decided to come back that night, seeing as there was still tourists on the trials nearby during the day. 

Sam had been knocked unconscious by the wendigo while Dean tried to fight it off. Luckily Cas was there to save the day, and he shot the wendigo with the silver bullet, successfully and efficiently killing it. 

The girl Olivia was crying and shaking uncontrollably at this point, and was going into shock. Dean woke Sam up and then scooped the girl up before they all ran to the Impala. They took her to the hospital, called the cops and then left pretty soon after. Only staying around for as long as they had to, giving some bullshit story for the police. 

"Welp, that was a great day." Dean said to no one in particular. 

"Yeah well I just want to get home and sleep now man. My head fucking hurts." 

"Aha yeah I'll bet Sammy." 

This earned the older brother a glare, although it wasn't serious. "It's Sam." 

"Yeah sure. Whatever you say Sammy."

The two brothers chuckled. It was good. It felt right. He had his brother back. Dean had Sam, and Sam had Dean. The Winchester brothers always had an unhealthy codependency, so looking back on it Dean realised, even if it didn't feel that way at the time, that they were always going to make up. 

"So Cas. Thanks for saving our asses back there!" 

"It's not a problem Dean. You'd have done the same." 

"Well of course! We're family! Family means no one gets left behind."

Sam sniggered. "Didn't realise you watched Disney movies Dean." 

"Shut up Bitch. Lilo and Stitch was a good movie." 

"Jerk." 

"I have not heard of this 'Lilo and Stitch' before." Cas said. 

"Movie night tonight then!"  
_____________________________________

As promised, when the boys arrived back at their motel room (unfortunately it had been too late to start heading back for the bunker) Dean set up Sam's laptop with the Disney favourite ready to go. 

After they'd all showered, eaten and cleaned up from the hunt, they sat down huddled together on Dean's bed and started the movie. 

Although it was definitely a cute, light hearted movie, Cas found himself unable to watch it properly, too many times catching himself staring at his best friend. 

Cas sat in the middle of the brothers, and at some point Dean had fallen asleep and fallen to rest his head on the angels shoulder. Sam thought it was hilarious. But Cas thought it was the most adorable thing ever. And he'd be lying if he said the feeling didn't send shivers through his body. It felt good. It felt right. However you'd never get him celestial being to admit that. Dean was human, and straight. And apart from that, Cas didn't deserve the hunter in that way. He was contempt and lucky enough just to have his friendship. 

Once the movie finished Sam put his laptop away and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. 

Cas looked at Dean again and thought how small and vulnerable he looked whilst sleeping, but also how peaceful and happy he seemed to be. Dean had sacrificed so much to help others and he deserved the world. He truly was the most amazing human he'd ever set eyes upon. 

He shook his shoulder gently, not wanting to startle the eldest Winchester. "Dean." The angel whispered. "Wake up Dean." 

Dean groaned and cuddled even further into Castiel's chest, wrapping an arm around the other man's waist. 

Cas sighed. And just scooped Dean up, holding his thighs. Dean was half awake now and instinctively wrapped his arms around Cas' neck and hooked his legs together at his back. Cas just hoped that Sam wouldn't walk in at this point. That would be awkward. 

Cas tried to lay Dean down on the bed but lost his balance and ended up falling on top of the other man. Dean was certainly awake now. 

"Hey Cas." He smiled. 

Smiled? Why was he smiling? Why wasn't the hunter angry with Cas? "Hey Dean." He replied with. "Uh... I'm very sorry Dean. I did not mean to fall onto you. I was trying to move you to bed without waking you and I accidentally lost my balance." 

"That's okay Cas. Don't worry." He said calmly. 

"Okay. Well I'm just going to move to the coach to rest." 

"I thought you don't sleep?" 

"No but the hunt took a bit out of me and I'd like to just rest my body and heal. It's similar to sleeping but not the same." 

Sam walked back in at this point. 

"Look who's awake! Was good to see you enjoyed the movie Dean!" The giant moose of a Winchester teased. 

"Shut it Sam!" 

"Haha well goodnight." Sam jumped into bed and turned off his lamp. Dean did the same, as Cas walked over to the couch.  
_____________________________________

After nearly 40 minutes of tossing and turning Dean finally decided to ask Cas if he was okay. 

"Yes. I am fine Dean. This coach is just quite uncomfortable." 

Dean sighed in response and built up all the courage he could find within himself. "Alright come here then." Dean pulled back his covers. 

"What? No Dean. You need to sleep on the bed." 

"Didn't say I wasn't. Now get your ass over here. I'm not asking again." 

The was a slight pause where Dean figured his best friend was just thinking this through. I guess it's not every day your best friend offers to sleep with you. Share a bed. Whatever. 

The angel quietly shuffled over and pulled off his trench coat, shoes, shirt and pants, leaving him just in his boxers. 

"I'm sorry Dean but I do not have a t-shirt. Do you want me to borrow o-"

"Nah Cas that'll take too long. I don't really care. Just get in here. It's cold." 

Cas didn't hesitate this time. And jumped in facing his back to Dean. However after a minute he turned around.

"Dean?" 

"Yeah Cas?"

"Thank you." 

"That's okay." He whispered back. "Jesus it's icy tonight." 

"Are you cold Dean?"

"Hmmm? Oh yeah. A little." 

Cas just wrapped an arm around Dean's waist, pulling him closer, and tangling their legs together in the process. Dean was slightly shocked, but god damn he was so warm and it just felt so natural to cuddle up to him. 

"Is this okay Dean?" 

"Yeah." Dean figured 'fuck it' and just snuggled up to his friend even more. 

"Dean. Goodnight." 

"Bonum nocte."


	9. Like I do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds out why Cas is sleeping.

When Dean woke up he could feel the warm, comforting presence of a body tangled with his. After a second he remembered that that warm, comforting presence was actually his best friend/love of his life. They'd shared a bed a few times now and Dean wasn't sure what to think of it. It's not as though they're two little kids sharing a bed, they're two grown men. Well one grown man and an angel in a grown mans body. Although Jimmy was no longer present in there so what does that make it? 

Either way, it wasn't exactly the platonic thing to do. And even if Dean was in love with the angel, he wasn't going to do anything. 

Dean then realised that San wasn't in his bed and the bathroom door wasn't open, so he just assumed his brother had either gone for a run or to get food and hopefully coffee, before they head off back home. 

"Shit!" Dean said when he realised that if Sam had left the room, he'd seen Cas and Dean together. In bed. Snuggling. "Fuck!" 

Cas mumbled incoherently. 

"Morning Cas. What'd you say?" 

"I said, what are you cussing about at this time of the morning?" 

"Dude, it's like... 9am." 

"Well it feels like 5am." Cas muttered under his breath. 

Dean just sighed. "What the fuck is up with you anyway. I thought angels don't need sleep?" 

"As I explained to you yesterd-"

"Yeah I'm calling bullshit Cas." 

The angel just stopped talking and got out of the bed before getting dressed again, as quickly as he could. What was he keeping from Dean?

"Look Cas, whatever is going on with you, you gotta tell me. I can't help you if you don't tell me how."

"I'm fine Dean. Do not worry." 

Dean was becoming slightly annoyed now. What couldn't his best friend trust him with?! "What? So I'm just not trustworthy enough? Is that it? You don't like me? What is it? Because after knowing you for so goddamn long and going through what we've been through together I thought we could tell each other everything?!" 

"I'm fine Dean. Nothing is wrong." 

"No fuck you Cas!" Dean was fuming now and threw the alarm clock that was next to his bed at the wall. Fortunately, this let out some of his anger and he was just upset now. "Just run off to the angels or something. See if they care like I do."

"I'm sorry Dean. Look how about we sit down and talk about things?" 

"No. Fuck you." Castiel winced, but quickly tried to cover it. Dean was quicker though and sighed softly, rubbing his hands on his face. 

"I'm sorry Cas. I was out of line then. Sure let's... talk." This is not something Dean dealt with well. "I overreacted cause of the Mark. I'm sorry Cas." 

"It's okay Dean. I understand." 

Dean wasn't sure why the Mark was acting up now after so long. It had been quiet for so long, probably due to the hunting, just like a quiet buzz. He'd almost forgotten about it. Almost. But this morning it was making him feel angry, agitated. And when it got like this it was hard to control his emotions.

"Okay. So spill Cas." 

"I only didn't tell you because I do not wish to worry you or Sam with this, because it is my responsibility and it really isn't a big issue. But once every hundred years an angel's feathers fall out and regrow. It keeps them strong and powerful. However, during this time our grace is suppressed. 

"So. This is happening to you, like now then? 

"Yes. Which means I am more human than normal right now. Sometimes I need to go to the bathroom, sometimes I need a small amount of food, however it does leave me very tired. Ergo the sleeping." 

Dean considered this for a moment. "Wow. Um well okay. That... makes sense. So how long does it last?"

"Well it started one day ago and will last for another six." 

"Okay. Is there anything I can do to help you Cas?" 

"No. However it would be preferable to be at the bunker by tomorrow morning." 

"Why? I mean not that I'm arguing, tomorrow morning is just oddly specific." 

"It can be quite painful during the process. Some angels have it worse than others. Me being an example." 

"Ah okay." Dean then chuckled, making his own joke. 

"What's so funny Dean?" 

"You sound like some woman talking about her period or something. Like "it usually lasts this long", "I get these symptoms", "it's worse for me"." 

"You're an idiot Dean Winchester." 

"Yeah. I know." 

They were both grinning like idiots at this point. Which also happened to be when Sam walked back in. 

"Hey you two. Finally decided to untangle from each other?" 

"Shut it Sammy." 

"Hey! I wouldn't threaten the man who holds the coffee." 

"Good morning Sam. Thank you very much." Cas said quickly walking up to the tallest Winchester. 

"Suck up." Dean muttered under his breath but both his best friend and brother caught it. 

"What was that Dean?" They said in unison. 

"Nothing!" He replied.   
_______________________________

After drinking their coffee Sam went to the bathroom and Cas quickly walked over to Dean. 

"We need to leave soon please Dean." 

"Of course Cas." 

"Can you do me a favour please Dean?" 

"Sure." 

"Don't tell San what's happening with me." 

"Why?" 

Cas flushed scarlet. "I'll explain another time." 

"Ummm... okay. I promise not to tell my moose of a brother." 

"Thank you Dean. I really appreciate it!" 

"It's not a problem Cas." 

Sam walked back in at this point. "Alright. Who's ready to go home?"


	10. Yeah angel?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds out why Cas is so exbarrased.

Once they arrived back home, Cas ran off to his room without saying anything. Sam was a little worried, and confused, but Dean just told him to leave it. 

Sam sighed. "Dean if you two are argu-"

"We aren't Sammy. Cas is just going through something right now and needs to be alone." 

"Okay. If you say so." Sam walked off to his room, clearly slightly annoyed with his older brother. And while Sam showered and unpacked, Dean figured he would sit down for a bit and relax. 

The Mark was making him tired. However he often found himself sleeping and eating less too because of it. The Mark must be making him slightly less human. And that constant, but faint, buzzing in his body that gave him the urge to kill was exhausting to fight sometimes. He just really needed to get the fucking thing off. 

Maybe now they'd finished a few cases they could keep researching. Although Dean knew that both his brother and the angel had never stopped looking for a cure. That's why Sam so often looked like a zombie. He wasn't sleeping much. 

The least Dean could do was make something to eat. There was only some basic ingredients left so mac and cheese it was. Sam and Dean are mostly in silence, both exhausted before Sam went to bed. 

Dean put a small amount of the pasta into a bowl and got a glass of water before creeping down the corridor towards Cas' room. He cautiously knocked on the door and entered into the room after a moment, to find the angel tossing and turning on the bed with his wings out. His wings. 

A small gasp escaped Dean's mouth as he took the sight of them in. They were large, jet black and had some small flecks of blue on the feathers. But even Dean could tell how damaged they had been, as there were barely any feathers actually there. 

"Dean. Please don't look! Please don't look!" The angel tried to cover his wings, failing miserably because of their size though. 

"Wha-what? Why Cas?" 

"It's embarrassing. Please don't. You can't see them like this!" 

"What do you mean Cas?" 

"They're ugly. You can't see them or you're going to think they're ugly." 

"Castiel." The use of the angels full name showed how serious the hunter was. "Do not say something like that ever again. I can see them right now, and trust me Cas they ain't ugly, they're-they're..." dean struggled to find the right words, and then whispered softly "They're beautiful Cas."

Castiel went silent then. He was frozen. He cautiously turned to face Dean and looked like a stunned mullet. "Do you really mean that Dean?" 

"Well, yeah Cas! They're amazing! Why would you think any different?" 

The angel once again went silent. "The angels." His voice barely even a whisper, Dean was surprised he managed to get it. 

But now he was getting angry. What had those sons of bitches done now? "Why Cas?! What did they say to you?!" 

"They said that they're evil. Black is the colour of death. That it was no wonder I'd fallen." 

Dean was shocked that a group of beings who were meant to be divine and heavenly and angely were so fucked up in the head to say something like that. He knew they were dicks, but that was terrible. "Well you can just ignore them Cas. They're just fucking jealous of your badass, powerful wings. They're truly stunning and you should never be ashamed of them." Cas has tears filling his eyes now and barely managed a reply.

Bowl of pasta and glass of water remembered, Dean walked over to his angel and placed it down next to him. Before he could talk himself out of it, he pulled Cas into a warm hug. Cas snuggled into Dean and let out a shaky breath. 

"Dean?" 

"Yeah angel?" Angel? Shit how did that slip out? 

"Thanks." 

"S'not a problem Cas." 

The hug had long passed what was a socially acceptable length between to friends, but no one was coming in and Dean couldn't think of a reason to care. 

"You need to eat Cas." 

"Yes. The shedding often takes a lot out of me. Thank you for bringing me replenishment." 

"Don't worry about it Cas. But yeah, so what exactly, does 'shedding' mean?" 

"It means that all my old, damaged and lose feathers will be shed and New ones will grow in. It's a good time for the wings to be groomed, however I can't do that." 

"Why not?" 

"Because shedding is a time in which only mates should see each other. That's why I was embarrassed to tell Sam and why I'm still a little anxious now. However, grooming is something extremely intimate between two mates. And cannot be done by anyone else." 

"Well why don't you just get your mate down then?" 

"Dean, I do not have a mate." 

"Oh." 

"Angel mating is for life. And it's very different to getting married or being in a relationship. I have never found anyone who would be a suitable partner for me." 

"But you're so awesome! Surely some angel chick up in heaven was all over you?!" 

"There were some. Hannah, for example. However, none of them ever 'ticked all the boxes' as you say." 

"I knew she liked you!" Dean said, before realises the more important part of what his friend said. "I'm sorry Cas. That really sucks. You deserve an amazing mate." 

"Thank you Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my hiatus, school sucks. I’m going to try to update more now and I love you all xx

**Author's Note:**

> \- Constructive criticism and feedback is greatly appreciated  
> \- This can also be found on my Wattpad @black_eyed_angel_


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